Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
