The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
