Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
