my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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