Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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