Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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