My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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