god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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