Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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