She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
