I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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