oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
