I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
