hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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