i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
