Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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