i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
