i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
