How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
