I need help removing her.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
