I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
