so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
