at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Randomize
