Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
