i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
