They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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