Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
