My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
