Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If its not for food we ain't going out.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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