Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
