haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can I color on your dick again?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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