Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
