Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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