i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
50% drunk capacity currently
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
