You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
