Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
