I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
