I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
