I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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