i think my tv is drunk
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
