yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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