i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
