Plan B is the new Plan A
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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