if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
