You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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