Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
did i just pee glitter
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
