If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
