i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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