lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
