Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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