I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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