"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
